Affectionate Border Collie

Temperament profile

Energy

Lively · social

Warmth

Caring · cooperative

Self-control

Planful · patient

Sensitivity

Delicate · sensitive

Curiosity

Imaginative · exploring

Where this child shines

• •They learn fast and apply what they learn.
• •They draw people together and lead a group.
• •They read a friend's feelings finely and look after them.
• •They plan new challenges and carry them out.

What to keep an eye on

• •Wanting to do a lot and having a lot to do together produce overload.
• •Falling short makes them drive themselves hard.
• •Trying to be responsible for friendships as well exhausts them.
• •Not knowing how to stop, they go until they are empty.

How to help

• •Let an adult make the decision to reduce the schedule. They cannot do it themselves.
• •Create one place where doing it well is not required.
• •Say clearly that an adult may step into a friendship problem.
• •Praise the moment they stopped rather than the result they achieved.
• •Do not add your expectations. Their own are already the heaviest.

Activities that fit

• •Free play that leaves no record
• •Learning a new field in depth
• •Leading a project
• •Sport that uses the body hard and then ends

How this shows up at different ages

Ages 3-4

Even at three and four they want to do a great deal and feel largely. Several rounds of big laughter and big tears a day at this stage.

Ages 5-7

Between five and seven they take the centre of a group and want to do well at the same time. The pressure begins here.

Ages 8-10

From eight to ten they carry several roles simultaneously. Burnout and relational depletion can arrive together, which makes this the stage needing most care.

Does this scene sound familiar?

A week with a school role, a competition to prepare for and a friend's problem to listen to, and all of it gets done. Then on Friday night they burst into tears over something trivial. It is not that thing; it is the accumulated week. What this child needs is not a better method but the experience that putting one thing down does not bring the world apart.

Friends and school life

Conspicuous in learning, relationships and activities alike. They hold several roles at once and generally manage all of them. The problem is what happens when that state is sustained. A single mistake or a conflict shakes them badly, and the fall is steep when it comes. Agreeing with the teacher in advance to assign only one role helps.

What parents most often get wrong

People take them for a perfect child with nothing to worry about. In fact this is the type requiring the most careful attention. Behind the capable surface they are continuously driving themselves, and often have never learned how to ask for help. Asking while things are going well is far better than repairing things afterwards.

How this differs from a similar type

Four traits match the Steadfast Shepherd, and only curiosity differs. The shepherd finds strength in holding a familiar post; the border collie finds it in learning something new. Both are highly responsible and tender, but change is the burden for one and standing still is the burden for the other. Fresh stimulus helps one; a settled rhythm helps the other.